


You're home

by demiromantic_disaster



Series: Supermarket Flowers [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Character Death, Death, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance is suicidal, M/M, Suicide, This is just a big ball of angst, klangst, mentions of cutting, selfharm, trigger warning, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 11:39:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13635537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demiromantic_disaster/pseuds/demiromantic_disaster
Summary: 99% angst, 1% fluffBased off of the song "Supermarket Flowers" by Ed Sheeran





	You're home

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like two months ago, while listening to this song at 1 am. I got inspiration and decided to write it all down immediately, resulting in staying awake till 3:30 am with the same song on repeat for 2,5 hours.
> 
> If there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, please tell me, English is not my first language
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> Cutting, suicide, blood and death (it's not really descriptive but there are mentions of it)
> 
> Please stay safe
> 
> PS: I highly recommend listening to Supermarket Flowers while reading, to add to the sadness :)

_I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill_

You had always loved flowers. You'd said they reminded you of me, with their soft petals and lingering smell, just like my fluffy hair and addicting scent. And also because we were both beautiful.

I'd always blushed at that, not being used to compliments.

Before we'd moved in together, you would give me a bouquet at every date we had. After a while, I would dry the petals and put them in a photo album, as a memory of a happy day.

_I threw the day old tea from the cup_

I hadn't gotten to cleaning our - my - apartment since. I'd felt numb. Drained of all emotion, like I would never feel anything anymore.

_Packed up the photo album Matthew had made_

A week after, I'd found the photo album again. It was full of photos of you and me, decorated with the flowers you had gotten me.

Your smile ached. A dull pain in my chest. I shut the photo album close.

_Memories of a life that's been loved_

They were happy memories.

Dates, moving into the apartment, getting our cats. Breakfast in bed, cuddling at night, Soft kisses and nose boops. Butterfly kisses on the forehead before heading to work. Watching a movie and you falling asleep in my lap, so I had to carry you to the bedroom, gently putting you on the bed before laying down next to you.

_Took the get well soon cards and stuffed animals_

I'd received a lot of 'em. They were all shoved in the top drawer of my desk. I couldn't stand to look at them.

_Poured the old ginger beer down the sink_

The apartment was a mess. Dirty dishes were on the counter, the refrigerator was almost empty and there was dust everywhere. I hadn't been in the mood for cleaning.

_Dad always told me "don't you cry when you're down"_

_But mum, there's a tear every time that I blink_

The tears just wouldn't come. Not at the moment of discovery, not at the funeral, not at the after shock. I just felt numb, like I had been drained of all emotion. Like I would never cry again.

_Oh, I'm in pieces, it's tearing me apart_

Meanwhile, my insides were screaming. They clawed at my brain, making me go crazy. I was falling apart; again. This time without you.

_But I know_

_A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved_

It hurt. A lot. We'd been together for years, married even. I had gotten so used to your presence, a loud, happy person, always by my side, ready to back me up.

_So I'll sing Hallelujah_

_You were an angel in the shape of my mum_

You had been a godsend. You were the embodiment of kindness, excitement and care. You helped me to stand up again, claw my way out of the shadows that held me down.

_When I fell down you'd be there holding me up_

You were the one holding me up, keeping me from falling again. Without you, I'd just fall forever, lost in my head, stuck in the dark hole my thoughts were. You were the glue to my cracked mind, holding me together. Without you, I would fall apart. I was a shattered mirror, the sharp pieces digging into my skin, slicing me open, just like the knife on your wrists.

_Spread your wings as you go_

And you go. You go away, leaving me behind. You steer up on your majestic wings, the wind tickling my cheek teasingly as you go.

_When God takes you back we'll say_

_Hallelujah_

_You're home_

I hope you found peace, wherever you are. I hope you are happy, free from your broken mind. Then at least one of us would be.

_I fluffed the pillows, made the bed, stacked the chairs up_

_Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case_

The house was empty without you. No booming laughter, loud music or teasing words. Only deafening silence. No flowers, clothes on the floor or warm bedside. Only nothing where before there had been something. A lingering absence.

_John says he'd drive then put his hand on my cheek_

_Then wiped a tear from the side of my face_

When the tears finally came, they wouldn't stop flowing. They came and came, no stopping possible. It was like they were trying to pour the sadness out of me, like it would leak away with every teardrop I spilled.

_I hope that I will see the world as you did_

You always saw everything with such positivity. You could make every situation better. You saw the best in every person, encouraged them to follow their dreams. You've helped countless of people. If I just could have helped you.

_'Cause I know_

_A life with love is a love that's been lived_

You had always made sure I knew how much you loved me. A wake up kiss every morning, exchanging "I love you"s while getting up. A hug before heading out. Spooning at night. Your hand ruffling through my hair. Small gestures.

_So I'll sing_

_Hallelujah_

_You were an angel in the shape of my mom_

_When I fell down you'd be there holding me up_

There wouldn't be any arms to keep me from falling now. Just a cold nothingness.

_Spread your wings as you go_

_And when God takes you back_

_We'll say_

_Hallelujah_

_You're home_

You are in a better place now. You are happier there than here with me. That's why you went, right? Because you weren't happy here. Because you weren't happy with me.

_You were an angel in the shape of my mum_

_You got to see the person I have become_

Without you, I wouldn't have been the person I am now. You built me up again, healed me. I thought you pulled me out of my thoughts, but instead I used you to pull myself out and you in. I got out of the shadows and you got in. I got better and you didn't.

_Spread your wings_

_And I know that when God took you back he said hallelujah_

_You're home_

Lance.

Wait for me.

I'm coming.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you cried.
> 
> No but seriously, tell me if you did. It makes me so happy when I hear that my stories actually brought people to tears. It's a huge compliment.
> 
> Please tell me what you think, I love reading comments :)
> 
> My writing & art blog on tumblr: demiromantic-disaster  
> Fandom blog: thnks-fr-th-klnc


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